I was going through some old files today on my computer and stumbled upon a eulogy I had written several years ago for my first hunting dog, J.R., named after J.R. Ewing by my father. He was a beautiful beagle and a great dog that loved hunting rabbits with me. By sharing this eulogy, my hope is not just to pay tribute to him, but to offer up a hunting dog’s eulogy to all the great dogs our readers have loved and lost over the years.
August 1, 2011
“Today we took J.R. to be put to sleep. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. I held him all the way there in my lap wrapped in an old towel. We got there and a nurse came out to take him from my arms. I felt horrible, like I was betraying him by not going in with him for his final moments. I regret now that I didn’t. Even after getting run over and suffering through a horrible disease, he remained strong and loyal to me, my dad and my family until the end. He wouldn’t come out to the car this morning until I called him and told him it was okay. He trusted me. I let him down by not going in there with him. But I just don’t know how I could have been able to bear it. It was the first time I’ve seen my dad cry. Seeing his tears showed me how much J.R. meant to our family. He was my first hunting dog and I will never forget him or the great times we had together.
About a month ago, I took him on his final adventure through the woods down at the land. Just one month ago you would have never believed it was the same dog. He was lively and full of energy. I couldn’t keep up with him as we ran through the woods chasing after what I believed to be a bobcat. He followed that trail for at least a quarter of a mile. It wasn’t until I ran to catch up and stop him that he finally quit the chase. I knelt down in the woods right there and told him how great of a hunting dog he was. He was courageous to no end. We stayed there for some time. For some reason I did not want to leave that spot with him. I guess somehow I felt that might be our last adventure together. Looking back, I feel that he was disappointed that I stopped him from that chase. I’m sure he believed he could have caught up to and treed that animal and I have no doubt that he would not have stopped until he did. The thrill of the chase of any animal, most especially a rabbit, was his vice, and he loved it even more when he had my audience. I cannot put it into words how much I’m going to miss his loud bay ahead of me in the woods as I tried to catch up to him. He was not a quitter, not even at the end. His will to live and love our family kept him going even through the horrible pain he must have been suffering from. I’m sure all the nice little treats we had been giving him kept his spirits up as well.
My friends have told me to feel happy for him because he’s in a better place and no longer suffering, but I just can’t. The only thing I feel is sadness and heartbreak as I sit here crying while I write this. I didn’t realize how much effect he had on my life, and I probably won’t for quite some time. I only wish I could have spent more time with him during his final year here on earth. I guess there is a special bond between a boy and his first hunting dog. It is something that is more pure than perhaps love itself. The innocence and pure heart of a dog combined with that of an eight year old boy makes for something that I think only God can understand the true meaning of. It is a learning experience every step of the way for both the boy and his loyal hunting partner. They walk the fields and woods, watching for a sign from the other, waiting and ever vigilant as they experience the thrill of the hunt. They become so in tuned to each other’s actions that they even begin to stop as one to listen to the sounds of the woods. I know very few pleasures like the one I felt when J.R. and I would stand motionless in the trees together, listening to all the mysterious noises of the forest. I cannot think of any moment more majestic than that.
I believe the relationship between a boy and his dog is the essence of what God wanted all people to have with each other, constantly faithful and always there for one another through all the great adventures of life, whether it is in the woods or at home. With these words I am writing now I guess I am trying to immortalize him, to give him a place in history forever. There is nothing that scares me more than being forgotten. But to him, being forgotten was never a worry. He knew he was in my heart the day he came home and no matter where he is now, in my heart he will always be. A part of my history, forever.”
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